Baby Bump and Heartbeat

I finally got around to taking a baby bump picture, and it's the first I've taken so far:

That's me today, in one of the few pairs of pants I have that still fit.  They won't fit much longer, but I already have two or three pairs of maternity pants (thanks to Kara, for lending me some of her maternity clothing) that are ready to accommodate my growing belly.

In other news, I had an appointment today and Michael and I heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time! It was very exciting, of course, and made it all a little more real. You can watch the video of us listening to the heartbeat here:







My nose is a little red in the video because I've been battling a bad cold, but who cares? That's my baby's heartbeat!

Pants!

Today I had to break down and buy some maternity pants (jeans to be more specific).  They're the kind that have that stretchy blue fabric that extends across the belly and holds the pants up, and they're very comfy. I had four pairs of "chubby" pants that I thought would last for a little while at least, because they were purchased at a time when I was a little bigger (than I was just before I got pregnant).  But I outgrew one pair and another pair are not the best for snowy climes (and we're going to Michigan for Christmas), so it was time to bite the bullet and get the scary pants. 

I'd been so busy this last Friday preparing for our friends Clifford and Ashley to stay with us for a night or two that I didn't notice until Saturday morning that I had finally started to "pop".  I was pretty excited and I immediately showed Michael, and we stared in fascinated wonder at the extra bit of belly that wasn't there a day or two before.  I'm definitely feeling the tug of the muscles or ligaments on the sides and just under my belly whenever I shift positions while reclining or if I turn to reach for something. 

My appetite is picking up too, and I jokingly refer to my new eating habits as those of the hobbits, who reputedly ate 7 times a day.  It's the new eating habits that briefly had me wondering how much of the new belly is due to the new eating habits and how much is due to uterine growth.  Most of the new weight is in the area of my uterus, however, and that is definitely not my usual pattern of weight gain.  All in all I'm getting more excited, and I can't wait for my next appointment (we'll get to hear the heartbeat!).   

Worrying

Anyone who really knows me won't be at all surprised that I worry about my pregnancy from time to time.  In fact, I think most of them would be surprised at how little I've worried, compared to my normal, worrisome self.  While I'm usually able to reign in most of my tendencies to fret, I still have a few moments, each day, when I can't shut them out.

So what do I worry about? Well, I'm in my 12th week, and I'm not really showing yet (which is not at all unusual). I worry about this even though Michael claims that he can tell a difference, when I'm holding up my shirt and staring at my abdomen in consternation.  I worry about whether I'm taking in enough water and nutrients. I worry about whether the showers I take are too hot (they feel divine, particularly when I'm trying to relax during a nagging bout of nausea) and I worry about getting really sick.  I worry about the fact that while I am delighted to be working again, it means that it's going to make it a bit more difficult, logistically, when the baby is born. 

Amusingly (at least, it's amusing to me), I don't worry about being a good mother.  I think it's because I know I'm going to mess up somewhere.  Just about everyone does, and I don't think I'm that special.  Plus, Michael is going to be an amazing father--he'll fix what I muck up, and I take great comfort in this. 

Nausea, Cravings, and Other Weirdness

Though my nausea has significantly decreased, it hasn't disappeared completely.  I thought I'd list out some of the things that helped me through the sickies:

• Eating.  Seriously.  I'm afraid I've conditioned myself to eat whenever I feel nauseous, which probably won't serve me as well if I feel nauseous after my pregnancy ends.
• Popsicles
• Sea-Bands, at least some of the time
• Peppermints
• Ginger ale

And now, a list of my cravings:

• Scrambled eggs
• Tomato sauce (usually I'm not the biggest fan of it, even on spaghetti)
• French fries
• Black olives

There is one side-effect of pregnancy that I found to be absolutely crazy--the crying.  I'm not a crier, usually.  Now it just takes a slightly sweet commercial or some other dumb thing, and I'm sobbing like an idiot.  I think Michael finds this side-effect to be the most disturbing of all, but also somewhat amusing.   

So, I'm Pregnant....

Michael and I have known that I was pregnant since late October. After telling our family and asking them to keep it quiet for a little while, we started telling some of our friends. We didn't want to jump the gun and tell everyone--after all, things do happen, especially in the first trimester.

Honestly, the ones who are only finding out now are rather lucky. I had to suppress so many urges to whine about the pregnancy nausea on Facebook. My hopes of being one of those lucky women who escapes the pregnancy nausea were dashed pretty soon after we found out we were expecting. I'm a real baby about nausea--nothing can really lay me so low. If I remember this portion of my pregnancy accurately, I am not sure I could go through another. But if what I've read on forums and heard from some of my friends is correct, if we really want another I'll be eager and happy to do it all over again.

What is really neat is that I'm in good company. Several of my friends are pregnant now, too, and we share information and stories. At this point in time, I'm the last of everyone else I know who will be giving birth next year. Everyone else is experiencing their pregnancy milestones before me, so it's nice to have the benefit of their fairly recent experiences.

As of my last visit to the doctor on November 30, I was somewhere between the 10 and 11 week range (based on his assessment of the size of my uterus), which means I'm in the 11 or 12 week range now. Thus, my due date (June 20, 2011) is very likely a bit early. He tried to listen for a heartbeat anyway, but could only catch it very faintly for split seconds before he lost it again. He said we would definitely be able to hear it on our next visit, which is in about a month. I am very excited by that prospect, because it will be the first direct sign of life I've had so far. I've only had the indirect symptoms and indicators that something is indeed going on in there, but I haven't had an ultrasound or anything else that provides that confirmation and makes it...real. I think until I have something like that, I can't help but be a little skeptical even though all the other signs are definitely there. It's silly, I know, but please indulge me in a little silliness--I've never done this before.